Porn is love you can see.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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