is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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