i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
