I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
