we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
