Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She announced her abortion via fbk
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
