Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
