I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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