Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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