We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
