I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
