Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
