Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
