That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
