well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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