its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
