I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
