4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
