She's JV to your varsity
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
