What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
