her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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