he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
