i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
