Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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