so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
