some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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