Farmville is her only friend.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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