I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
