Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
