I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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