Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
