how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
