cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
