so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
