She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
