Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
