If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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