btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
