oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize