We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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