I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
