guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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