I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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