Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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