Cold hands, warm shart.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
