nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
