why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wear drunk well.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
