Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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