I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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