We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can text with my tongue
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
