matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Bay diarrhea
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
