She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
