I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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