"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
