No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
