My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize