Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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