what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
