Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize