nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Couch. On fire.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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