finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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